awwww-cute:

Moment of bravery at the vet

awwww-cute:

Moment of bravery at the vet

at the resturant with bae

  • waitress: *fills his glass with ice water*
  • me: *watches thot ass waitress pour a lil too much water for my liking*
  • me: you want my man or something?
  • her: wh-wat?
  • me: i'm just trying to figure out why u pour his glass first? im closer? why his water got so much ice?
  • me: I mean the glass already sweating bitch why u think he so dehydrated? im the only bitch who put ice in his glass.
  • me: everybody else got 3 ice square cubes and he got 5 circle ones bitch u think u slick huh? a circle for every minute u gon suck his dick huh? spelling out morris code for u can raw me in ice cubes huh?
  • him: aye calm down
  • me: nah cause she wanna give u 5 ice circles for what? its 72 degrees and mild 1 ice wud have been just fine. bitch gimme a male waiter--matta fact bitch when u get off cause its one too many ice circles and u think fat meat aint greasy

i made a new friend on the plane

niggaimdeadass:

dis us

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this us actin crazy

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smooches to u hataz

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ewwww y’all ugly

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dis us sleep

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of course we cute

we black

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dion-thesocialist:

rakshar:

dion-thesocialist:

I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.

your forgiven.

You’re… really sweet to do that. Thanks.

katara:

this is my favorite tweet of 2014

katara:

this is my favorite tweet of 2014

donutsornonuts:

We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.

rnicrophone:

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

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chesnaaught:

who is ole hickory ham mike and why is he texting me

chesnaaught:

who is ole hickory ham mike and why is he texting me

python56:

coleblechle:

python56:

outoftowncousin:

python56:

outoftowncousin:

python56:

python55:

python54:

python53:

python52:

B2

G9

I22

N42

O28

OK BINGO !

sir please read your card back to me

B2, G9, I22, N42, O28

ok yea that’s it please come up and collect the Autumn Harvest Quilt, the perfect companion on your front porch this fall

hey do we have to clear our cards?

yes CLEAR YOUR CARDS

ggaga:

when kids show u their drawings

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